The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul." (Psalm 19:7 - ESV)

One of the big problems faced by many people today is depression. The pandemic situation, prolonged isolation, struggles with work, economic, family, and relationship issues are things that then add to the vulnerability to depression. Severe depression can bring suffering into the lives of those who experience it. Not only those who suffer from depression have problems, but their families also struggle with it. This happens because humans are created in a relational life system.

Depression itself is one of the types of mental disorders. In the DSM-5 -- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -- there are many types of mental disorders, such as bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, and so on. In general, mental disorders are related to disorders of the mind, emotions, and behavior. Mental disorders also interfere with how sufferers relate to others and their ability to live productive lives according to the general demands of human life.

Most people will find it difficult to understand the suffering or struggles of those with mental disorders. People with depression usually feel pressured, hopeless, emptiness, loneliness, disappointment, worthlessness, and have no hope in their souls. In addition, those with depression can also experience sleep disturbances, eating disorders, feel less energetic and less focused, as well as various other physical problems. However, we know that God understands and knows whom He created. And, He never leaves His workmanship. So, anyone who struggles with depression, do not lose heart!

The question is, is there hope for those suffering from this depressive disorder? Can they live as meaningful children of God and be a blessing?

I, Jeffrey Lim, the author of this book, am a person who struggles with mental health issues. Some experts have diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder. Besides that, I have also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. God allowed me to experience severe mental disorders since 1998. This mental disorder always recurs, and the most severe disorder I experienced occurred in 2014.

In 2014, I experienced the most severe mania phase in my life. I was in mental chaos and could not control myself and my thoughts. At that time, I experienced three periods of wandering for several weeks. The first period, I wandered by train from Bandung to Solo, then to Salatiga, and back to Bandung. The second period was when I wandered from Bandung to Purwokerto with my own car. At that time, the car I was driving had an accident and had to be left at a relative's house, before I continued my journey to Yogyakarta and Bali. Finally, my father had to pick me up in Bali to take me back to Bandung. The third period was when I wandered from Bandung to Lampung, again with my own car. I drove recklessly until I experienced collisions here and there. At that time, I only brought just enough money. All my thoughts and feelings were already chaotic because I experienced a manic phase plus delusional psychotic symptoms.

Thankfully, God gave me little by little awareness, until finally, the desire to return home to meet my children and wife emerged. After that, a friend advised me to enter the hospital. I went to RS Dharmawangsa in South Jakarta. A month later, I recovered. Then, in God's grace and mercy, I was able to move forward to complete my theology thesis with the support and assistance of a thesis advisor who cared very much about my existence, Mrs. Ina Hidayat.

Our family itself has already suffered a lot in this process of struggle. There have been many tears and sorrows they have experienced. On the other hand, I have tried many ways to overcome this mental disorder. Countless books I have tried to learn to defeat this disorder. Repeatedly, I went to psychiatrists or did counseling with spiritual counselors. I often felt desperate, always felt defeated, and experienced many ups and downs in this life. However, eventually, I can see all this as a process of maturation. Ups and downs in life turn out to be a process of formation.

As a believer, I believe that there is hope in the suffering of depression. That hope lies in the word of God, in relation to God, and in the accompaniment and consolation of the Holy Spirit. The purpose of making this reflection is to share with friends in the Lord who may have the same struggles as me.

I hope Friends can realize that the power of the word can transform lives and help those who struggle with depression. And, this is not just theory or empty preaching. The word of God is powerful because Christ himself is the Word. The word of God is powerful because God created the universe through His powerful word. Everything was created from nothing to something. From dark to light. From formless to form.

The word of God is powerful because it contains the Gospel news, which is the news of Christ's death and resurrection. There is resurrection power in the Gospel news that can transform sinners who should die in transgressions, to rise and live for God.

There is hope when those with depression understand the Bible with its grand narrative and continue to relate to that word day and night. When we relate to the word, we are actually befriending God in Jesus Christ and fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

The theological reflection that I will share is also the result of my interaction with the word and theology in dealing with depression. I only take a few important themes from systematic and biblical theology and then arrange them into practical matters to be lived. Theology itself is very broad and very abundant in presenting knowledge taken from the Bible. So, what I do here is just to give an example of how Christian doctrines can be drawn into practice, and that it has great relevance in myself who struggles with depression.

You can develop your own different method based on the abundance of Christian doctrine. You can investigate how the relevance of the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints with depression, the relevance of the doctrine of the resurrection body and eschatological with the struggle of believers with depression, or the relevance of the doctrine of the church with the struggle of those who struggle with depression. And, the list of studies can be made even longer: Theology of Grace, Means of Grace, Theology of Prayer, Meditation, Lectio Divina, spiritual discipline, and so forth.

Then, what is the relevance of all this theological understanding and doctrine to those who struggle with depression?

The term "theology" may sound very academic or feel irrelevant to the struggle to overcome depression. However, it is actually very relevant in the effort to overcome depression. All types of theology from biblical theology produced by interpreting and exploring the Bible, both systematic and historical theology, must be able to be applied in practical theology. All types of theology should be able to become practical. Theology should be therapeutic (healing), and even more, it should also be soteriological (saving).

People with mental disorders are often those who struggle to see reality correctly, that is, how to see God, themselves, problems, solutions to problems, and so on. The good news is that the word of God and theological reflection are like illuminating lights so that we can see reality more clearly.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105). Reality is the manifestation of God and God Himself. God is the highest reality. We cannot know ourselves and this world with the right perspective outside of God. Therefore, let's struggle to know ourselves as we struggle to know God. And may God's grace help Friends who are struggling in the dark night of the soul/depression to advance, grow, and recover in the Lord.

Note: This book begins with theological reflection. I arranged it this way because I wanted to start this book by talking about God, understanding God, and the relation and reflection of it to me experiencing the dark night of the soul. If among Friends there are those who want to start by knowing my life story and testimony, please read Chapter 20 directly. After that, you can return to Chapter 1 to complete the theological contemplation that I grapple with.