Gratitude to the Triune God who has led me through many struggles with His love and grace. Thank you also to fellow believers who have supported me until I was able to overcome the dark night of the soul and publish this book.

First and foremost, I want to express my deepest thanks to my parents, especially during times when I experienced emotional distress. Thank you to Mama, Ita Sayuri, who has loved and supported me always. Mama patiently bore suffering and continued to pray for me. Mama always had hope for me. Besides Mama, of course, there is Papa, Jemmy Taslim, who also supported and accompanied me. It was Papa who was with me when I suffered mental distress and traveled to Bali. He accompanied me in my manic condition and brought me home with love. Papa has changed a lot in his old age. He has become closer to me and our family.

To Laura Lee, my beloved wife, thank you for faithfully being with me through thick and thin, scarcity and abundance, joy and sorrow. It has not been easy to accompany me through all these struggles. Besides being a wife and personal doctor, Laura has also been my helper in the Lord. Many things have happened in this school of family sanctification that have shaped me to recover in the Lord. Praise God! I am also grateful to God for Fidelia Charis, my beloved daughter, who adds joy and enthusiasm to life.

I want to warmly thank my spiritual mother, Mrs. Rev. Hanna Tjahja. She has planted the Word of God in my heart since childhood and adolescence. She also always reminds me to depend on and hope in the Lord. Mother Hanna has faithfully continued to pray for me, and her ministry has made me believe in God.

Thank you to Rev. Joseph Tong for his fatherly love, embracing and encouraging me when I was recovering from a mental breakdown. It was Rev. Tong who allowed me to assist in the work at STTB and restored my self-confidence.

I am grateful to Rev. Stephen Tong, whose personality has made a significant and influential impact on my life. God used him to advance me in the calling as a servant of God. He understands my condition, offering love and hope, and was magnanimous in accepting me back as a Bible school student. Rev. Tong made me fight again for God.
Thank you to Rev. Joshua Lie, Rev. Yung Tik Yuk, Rev. Yohan Candrawasa, the servants of God, and my spiritual brothers in the Reformed Institute (Brother Yadi, Brother Isaiah, Brother Luke, Brother Hendry, Brother Agus, Brother Paul, etc.), who since 1998 have shared life, offered friendship, and fellowship in Christ. I am especially grateful to Brother Nawi who has supported and encouraged me during my struggles with thoughts and emotions. I also remember Brother Eudy Kazilo, who was once a roommate, whom God used to strengthen me as well.

To Brother Toni Afandi, thank you for accompanying me for a year at the Reformed Institute and being a spiritual brother and friend to this day.

Thank you to Kukuh Mei Yin (Papa's sister) and Kuliong (Kukuh's husband), who opened the way for me to study IT and graduate with a Bachelor of Computer Science from the University of Technology, Sydney. Kukuh has also supported me a lot in IT ministry.

To fellow believers in Sydney, thank you for all the friendship and support given to me. First, to friends at Indonesian Presbyterian Church (IPC) for sharing friendship, fellowship, and ministry together at church. Thanks to Hatta, Nancy, Paul & Danny Wirjawan, Adi Susanto, Alfred Nugraha, Harianto Ichsan, and other IPC friends who supported me during hard times and have been friends during difficult times. I am also grateful if friendships in prayer and fellowship with some IPC friends continue to this day. Thank you also to Ryan Setiawan, Simon Tjandra, Victor Yaputra, and Jimmy Liang for the friendship and fellowship we still enjoy together in the Soli Deo Gloria Prayer Meeting.

Thank you to Rev. Eko Aria, Vicar Andrew Kristanto, Rev. Irwan Hung, Rev. Bakti Anugerah, and other fellow fighters who once shared being spiritual friends at the Reformed Institute. I cherish the beautiful memories with Institute friends, where we often ate instant noodles together and prayed for each other. The instant noodle club while sharing life will not be forgotten.

Thank you to Rev. Nico Ong, who trained me when I served in Taiwan and China. Thanks to him, I have more resilience and mental fight in life. Mr. Nico has uniquely been used by God to open my path of service.

Thank you to Vicar Yun Siang, who has become a spiritual sister and often invited me to do prison evangelism and preach at the Logos Foundation. Sister Yun Siang also often supported me during my struggles.

Thank you also to Rev. Ivan Kristiono. Brother Ivan has not only been a mentor but also a friend to our family. Thank you for the guidance, prayers, and counseling from Brother Ivan. Our family feels very blessed by Brother Ivan's care and ministry.

I am grateful to Rev. Hendra Wijaya as a lecturer and spiritual brother who helped complete my Master's thesis in theology along with Mrs. Ina Hidayat as my thesis advisor. Thank you for his friendship that has supported me until now.

I remember the care from Mrs. Ina Hidayat, who God used to guide me in completing my thesis and Master's education. Mrs. Ina was not only a thesis advisor but also a caring spiritual mother. I was very touched to hear Mrs. Ina's testimony in 2014 that had never been shared with anyone, even me. Grateful if that testimony can become part of this book. I also remember Mr. Paul Hidayat, who often becomes a friend and advisor behind the scenes.

To the Yayasan Lembaga SABDA and its community, I say thank you. To Mrs. Yulia, Marc, Mr. Hadi, Ms. Evie, and friends within it. Thank you if I ever shared in fellowship and served together in the digital ministry field. The friendship over three years since 2017 has been a blessing to me in learning programming for digital ministry application.

I also want to thank Mr. Tjahjadi Rameli Lie as a senior and supervisor who has guided and understood my struggles. Mr. Tjahjadi has been used by God to support me and my ministry, both in Vocare service and other ministries. May God continue to bless Mr. Tjahjadi, his business, and his family.

Thank you to Rev. Unandi Tirtaredja, from GII Hok Im Tong, who also once shepherded our family. The love, prayers, attention, and spiritual support from Mr. Un continue to be remembered in my heart.

I thank Rev. Elsen Tan for supporting the prayer ministry for the healing of my bipolar disorder. Through the prayer ministry of Mr. Elsen, I was strengthened and could feel the symptoms improving. I believe that Jesus Christ, through various means of grace, will continue to heal my mental health.

To fellow believers, family, and servants of God, thank you for supporting me in prayer during my struggles with thoughts and emotions.

Thank you to Dr. Lukas Kabul and Dr. Rahmat Purwata as doctors who have been a blessing in treating the medical side of my life struggles. Dr. Rahmat not only played a role as a medical doctor but also gave a lot of attention, encouragement, and strength to me. Thanks to Nurse Emi at Grahita for her prayers and support that have also been a blessing to my life.

I also remember the late Dr. Agus Saeman and Dr. Dwijo Saputro, who once served me medically.

To Sister Esther Taslim, who often strengthened and supported me with her moral and material advice. Thank you, Sister.

Thank you to Ms. Okti for editing this book's manuscript. Without Ms. Okti's help, this book would be difficult to arrange neatly. To Sister Elia Yoesman, a childhood friend from elementary school, thank you for being willing to donate her painting as the book cover and for helping to design this book's cover. The theme of the raven in the dark cathedral illuminated by light from the outside is very impressive. I realize that I am not like a dove, but more like a raven that God loves and uses.

Thank you to fellow believers who I cannot mention one by one here. Thank you for all the prayer support. May God repay your kindness. The spiritual progress and faith that I experience in the condition of struggling with mental disorders can happen because there are many brothers and sisters, family, doctors, and servants of God who support with their respective gifts. It is truly a beauty to be able to live in the love of God. To live in being loved and loving.

Lastly, I express my thanks to friends who have read and supported the publication of this book.

In closing, I can only give thanks for the beautiful life that God has blessed me with in all its existence. Thank you, Lord Jesus. God bless us all.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Jeffrey Lim

Peaceful Brotherhood

When Brothers Dwell in Unity
A Song of Ascents. Of David.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity!

It is like the precious foil on the head,

running down on the beard,

on the beard of Aaron,

running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon,

which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,

life forevermore.

( Psalm 133 - ESV )