"There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved." -- George Sand

Humans were created by God in a relational context. We live not for ourselves but are called to be in community and to love one another. Human beings are relational creatures because they are created in the image and likeness of God, who, although one in Essence, consists of Three Persons who love each other. Therefore, humans, who are the image of God, are created to love and to receive love.

To address the issue of dark night of the soul/depression and other mental disorders, psychological therapy is used to help sufferers recover from these struggles. There are therapies focused on ways to change thoughts like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). There are therapies that practice mindfulness, where a person continuously observes their own thoughts without judgment and while maintaining a distance from them. There is also psychoanalytic therapy, where clients look for the root of their problems from past experiences. Others include therapy that tries to find the meaning of life. And there are many more types of therapy for depression or mental illness.
Human personality is shaped both genetically -- from natural disposition -- and from the process of environmental formation. Our persona is also shaped by the actions of others towards us and our response to them. For example, if someone experienced violence from family members and bullying at school during childhood, it could lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This post-traumatic stress disorder triggers the reappearance of memories of bitter experiences and past violence, leading to continuous anxiety in the sufferer in the present.

When someone has had difficult and traumatic experiences in the past that lead to depression in the present, can these traumatic experiences be healed later? Neuroscience research has found that the human brain can be rewired or repaired. The human brain is not unchangeable. It can change and be changed. Another interesting fact is that the human brain is not standalone, but relational. Humans are created to be connected to one another.

In the book "Beautiful Risk" written by Jim Olthius, there is a story of a woman who often felt anxious and experienced a burning sensation on her body, even during the winter. In the counseling process between Jim Olthius and the woman, Jim collected data regarding the background of her life. From there, he learned that the client's mother had once intended to have an abortion while pregnant. After realizing this fact, the client finally understood that all the anxiety and burning sensations she experienced were traumatic experiences due to her mother's actions. And, when she was able to acknowledge and connect with that experience and forgive her mother, she began to recover from her problems.

I myself have come to realize that the possible cause of the mental disorder I am experiencing is because as a child I often experienced harsh treatment from my father, both physically and verbally. Another possible factor is the stress condition my mother experienced while pregnant with me and the family conflict situation due to my father's stress from work pressure at the factory. In addition, I was also cared for by a sister who often experienced stress, hysteria, and even possession by demons. All these facts allow me to understand the triggers of the schizoaffective disorder I am experiencing now. However, I believe that it doesn't just stop there. There are still many of God's blessings that I experience.

The process of discovering facts from the past involves intense relations and communication, especially with my mother. By understanding the background of my troubled past and then psychologically distancing myself from those memories, I am building an awareness that what happened in the past is not happening now. This mindfulness method aids in the healing of the mental disorder I am experiencing. However, one of the most helpful factors in the healing process is when I dared to open up to loved ones and share the experiences I've had, both traumatic experiences and the struggles of sins I've committed.

In God's grace, I too was given the courage to be open with several servants of God, such as Pastor Joshua Lie, Pastor Yung Tik Yuk, Pastor Stephen Tong, as well as many friends at the Reformed Institute. When recounting my past to my wife and sharing life with people who love me, I was actually taking a beautiful risk. This risk was indeed dangerous because I could have been rejected, ridiculed, or insulted. However, the risk also had the potential to bring about great healing. Humans indeed have the need to be known and loved, as well as to love and know others.

When my friends and brothers and sisters empathize and understand my experiences, it rewires or repairs my brain. The gazes, understanding, words, and body language of the people who love me turned out to successfully reframe the recordings of my past memories with a new interpretation. I was then able to form a new perspective on the past. And, when the trauma of the past had been shared with loved ones, the intensity of the suffering caused by the trauma gradually decreased. I felt more and more that it had happened in the past and no longer had the right to disturb me in the present. Even if the traumatic memories still bothered me, I could try to condition myself that it was over and just a part of my past. The response I received from the people who loved me when sharing these traumatic experiences also further healed me. This is a beautiful experience that we can gain when we love one another.

"Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails; but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love truly has the power to restore life!