A Theological Reflection
in the Midst of the Soul’s Dark Night
Jeffrey Lim, B.Comp, M.C.S.
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17. Life in Family and Church
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)
One of humanity's perennial problems since its fall into sin is the problem of relationships. Adam and Eve, as husband and wife, blamed each other. They hid from God when He sought them because they were afraid of His presence. Their perception of reality became inaccurate, even wrong.
Since the fall of Adam and Eve, family issues have continued to be a pressing problem for humans to this day. This has become more complex with the increasing individualistic nature of humans, greater life demands, and family communication being distracted by cell phones, gadgets, and the internet. All these disruptions have a negative impact on the harmony of relationships and family. Families no longer have close relationships between husbands, wives, and children. Children live with a lack of support and attention due to the busyness of parents. Warm and close fellowship within the family is less, even non-existent. Meaningful conversations rarely occur because everyone is busy with their own affairs. However, neglecting family fellowship for the sake of busyness is a big mistake. How sad the state of the family is in this era! How pitiful the children are neglected due to a lack of love!
Many depression problems occur due to the absence of affection or the occurrence of conflicts within the family. The family, which should be a place for each member to love one another, instead becomes a place of conflict and strife as a result of sin. Sin causes human life to stray from what God intends. Sin only leads to misfortune in human life.
Speaking of sin, relationships, and family, we can be thankful because there is hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. For, Jesus came to redeem every human problem of sin, including family issues. The Bible likens the relationship between husband and wife to that between Christ and His church. Christ Himself has set an example when He sacrificed Himself for the church, which is the body of Christ. Therefore, the Word of God requires families to love one another. This is expressed in the advice for husbands to love their wives, and for wives to submit to their husbands: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of His body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Families can have hope again because of Christ and His work on the cross. A renewed family will become the most important support system for those struggling with the dark night of the soul/depression. The family is where we all share joys and sorrows. If one family member suffers, the other members suffer as well.
When I was in a state of depression, I am thankful because God placed my family as a support system. My mother is a person who continuously supported and prayed for me when I was facing mental health issues. My father, although not very talkative, also provided support when I was in difficult conditions. My siblings always helped with whatever contributions they could make. This is a great blessing for me. And my wife, Laura, is a loving, patient, and supportive wife during the crisis periods of my life.
More than physical family support, I experienced tremendous support from the church, which is a family in God. Many servants of God prayed for me. Many fellow believers supported and became my friends in times of trouble (and joy). Therefore, I want to share this truth, that those who suffer from depression also need to grow within the family of God, which is the church. In Christ, besides our physical family, we also have the family of God. In Christ, we are all brothers and sisters in faith. In Christ, the congregation is the body, and Christ is the head.
The Bible itself also teaches the church to love one another without being self-centered.
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:1-4)
I believe that believers who struggle with the dark night of the soul/depression have hope in the grace of the Lord. Those who suffer from depression need a sense of security in their soul. First and foremost, this security comes from God Himself. However, security also comes through the environment. Then, where is the environment that can provide love and care for those suffering from depression? Apart from the family, the church of God is also called to apply this. In Christ, there is love that can make the depressed feel recognized, loved, and accepted. Here, the church of God functions as a community that heals each other. The church is the context in which we grow in progressive sanctification. The church, which is the family of God, is the answer to the need for human fellowship.
Those who are depressed may take comfort because they are not alone, but in the family of God. In the family of God, each member is in a healing community.
I Love the Family of the Lord
I love the family of the Lord
Bound together in affection
Everyone loves each other
How happy I am to be
The family of the Lord
(Popular hymn, taken from various sources)
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